Some of you may know and others don't, but I am currently living in Thailand. I'm still writing a longer post about the transition and how it all happened but for now I want to talk about the many goodbyes, a few hellos and more goodbyes that I have been experiencing in a short period of time.
Leaving London was hard. Leaving my friends behind was even harder. We have gone through quite a lot and we have stuck by each other in good and bad times. The idea of me moving so far away affected all of us and saying goodbye to them was really hard. A part of me kept reminding myself that they will be here when I get back and nowadays we can keep in touch so easily, but this did not stop the sadness.
I was terrified of this big change in my life. Travelling on my own to a country and region of the world I have never been to before.
The first 10 days I was at a retreat. I wanted a slow adjustment to the country as well as to be taken care for those first few days. Very soon, I started meeting people. Very surprisingly, or maybe not, I started connecting quite easily and deeply with the people I was meeting. Amazing conversations were had, and even comfortable silences. And soon after my 10 days were over, the goodbyes started (again) and I was feeling them a lot too. These beautiful people around me, whom I hardly knew, were touching different parts of me with our connection. The separation hurt, even though I was inevitable. Last week I said goodbye to two of the people I connected mostly and it was so hard. I don't know how I got attached to their company so easily. I knew they would be going back to their countries, yet I could not stop myself from feeling some sort of loss.
It feels a bit exaggerated, but I have since learnt that things are felt very strongly on this island. It is a special place. I have been told that all the feelings and experiences I am going through are part of the Koh Phangan experience. It happens all the time to many people and it will continue to happen. There will be many more people who will touch my life and they too will leave eventually. And one day, it will be me leaving.