I have plenty of time for reflection in my life here in Thailand, and the other day, what came to me, was how I was currently doing some of the things I had put in my mind I would never do.
At some point in my life I thought I would not be travelling again for quite some time. My friends had partners and so our holidays together came to a stop. Anyway, even if I did want to travel on my own, who would be there to put sun screen on my back? And what about having meals on my own? Sounds terrible. Super awkward. I would not want to have to experience that. All these thoughts were excuses for not doing things. Truth was, that at some point, living on my own, I could not afford to travel much except to go back home a couple of times a year. But besides this, the idea of me going off on my own, sounded unappealing and kept me from doing other stuff, not only travelling.
Some other things that seemed impossibilities for me, due mostly to some imaginary Pelágia rules, were never to show my upper arms except at the beach; not having my legs on show without tights; surely I can't ride a scooter, right?
I may be forgetting a few more.
When I made my decision to move to Thailand for 8 months, would you believe me, if I said that none of these thoughts actually crossed my mind? And guess what, for the majority of my time here so far, I have not had anyone to put sun screen on my back. I'm still alive and have not burnt my back either! I have had many many dinners on my own, and once again, I have survived it all. It is so hot that there is no chance of wearing long sleeves, let alone tights! And sure enough, I can ride a scooter, slowly and sometimes nervouslessly, but I do it and even enjoy it.
I guess, that once you make the right decision, just as I made the right decision for myself; all these thoughts or beliefs you used as excuses,to not do something, they just disappear. They're no longer important. In fact, I still don't have it all figured out for the rest of my stay. I still have nights when I wake up worrying about money. Yet, there is another part of me, which I have been listening more in the last few months, and this part tells me that things will work out and everything will be OK.
As for the nevers, apparently, there isn't such a thing. I am reminded once again that the impossible is possible.