Mud, Sweat & Fear: The Journey to Braveheart

Mud, Sweat & Fear: The Journey to Braveheart

Online Snapshots versus Reality

I must say, I love all those stories of the successful turning around from nothing to lots. If you are coming here for that, you will be disappointed, there are loads of those all over the internet. This is me, right in the middle of the muddy, messy part of my life, of having my own business and not being successful, yet.

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Outside of the herd

The beginning of 2017 came with a new start of my professional life. For the first time in around 20 some years I was not going back to a 9-5 job. In the first week of January I took some time to take notice to how I would feel not having to go back into work. I wanted to acknowledge the change. It turns out, that on the 3 January I had a doctors examination at 08.15 in the morning and this meant that I actually had to get up early and at a similar time to when I was working. I thought this was funny and slightly ironic. 

As the week progressed, I took pleasure in taking an afternoon nap, just because I could and also I was responding to what my body was asking of me. It felt good. 

Further down the week, I had a dentist appointment in Covent Garden at 08.30 in the morning. This would mean me doing exactly the same route as I would do for getting to my former job. I had to consciously  remember I was not going to work! And then, when I had to come back to Waterloo after my appointment, it all felt slightly surreal. I was walking in the completely opposite direction of everyone else. 

I don't know about you, but some times, I had fantasized getting to Waterloo to get to work and get myself on the next train back so that I could go back to my bed and sleep. It felt indulgent to be able to do such a thing, but it never happened. Walking back over Waterloo Bridge, it felt strange. It felt like I was the only person going in the opposite direction, while everyone else was going back into Central London and to work. I felt I was outside the herd. The 9-5 herd. I was part of this group of people for so long and all of a sudden, in that moment, I felt a bit of an outsider. I was somehow questioning myself:  'Am I valuable member of society if I am not part of the group of people who go to work every day during those fixed hours'. I know I am a valuable member of society, but this moment on the bridge made me suddenly question it. 

When I got to Waterloo Station, things changed. I suddenly was able to make true my desire of going on a train back home so early in the morning and while most people were coming into work. It felt exciting and I had a buzzing feeling in my body. It was a pleasurable experience.