SheSpeaks SheListens

SheSpeaks SheListens

A few months ago, a friend of mine got int touch saying ‘You have to listen to this podcast!’ with a link to an episode of the ‘Feel Better, Live More’ episode of Dr. Rangan Chaterjee and Johan Hari on ‘Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression’ link: https://open.spotify.com/episode/55Rq6GthFzVByDXsTR1BUb?si=yWwRKgmJT_OHf5KW4uxJdQ. I must admit that my first reaction was, oh another thing talking about depression, I’m not sure I want to listen to it. Yet, a voice within me and an impulse led me to listen. The conversation went for so long that there are two episodes, and I have now listened to both episodes three times. There is so much interesting content in there, and for me personally, there were a few parts of the conversation that really touched me to the point of tears.

Listening to how there is a lack in listening, connecting in real life and a sense of community. I was moved to take action. An idea started to take shape within me. I wanted to take part in helping others to feel heard. I felt I had limited resources to making this happen in person, and so I put my thinking hat on and started coming up with ideas of how to go about doing this. The idea has had a few shifts and changes but I have for now settled with a name and an idea of how I can make this happen online. As my work is mainly focused on guiding women, I thought it was only natural that I made this offer for women.

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Remembering Trauma - my story

Remembering Trauma - my story

The following text is a post on my experience of remembering trauma and I share something that feels very sensitive. The path for me to actually press the publish button, has felt long and painful. The more I felt the push to publish, the more fears came up, the fear is still here, right now, as I write, and I am still going to press the publish button.

The push eventually subsided and now I have a sense that these words need to be said so that I can carry on exploring my authentic self in all it’s colours, variations and emotions. It feels like I can no longer write about anything without sharing this first.

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Glastonbury - The White Spring

Glastonbury - The White Spring

This year I have been to Glastonbury twice. The first time for one day and the second time I stayed for four days. I was going to write about my experience there in one post but then realised that I wanted to go deeper in some of the spaces. Here is my experience of the White Spring.

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Women’s Circle

Women’s Circle

A couple of weeks ago, I got inspired to create a video where I answered some questions about Women’s Circles from my perspective.

Questions like:

- What is a Women’s Circle and what happens in one?

- Why am I creating this Women’s Circle?

- Why should you take the time to come to this Women’s Circle?

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Who am I?

Who am I?

Hello! Welcome to 'It's not all happiness and coconuts'.

This is a longer post but I wanted to give you a bit of a context about who I am and what has been happening in my life in the last couple of years. At the end of the post there is a bit about financial support and it will make sense if you read this all. Hope you enjoy it.

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Postponing life

Postponing life

Even though I have read about this many times, I have recently came to the realisation of how much I keep postponing in my life.

I have been focused on self love and care for quite some time and it has been a continuous journey and practice. I feel like I have come a long way yet, there is more to do. In particular when it comes to loving my body

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Forgiving in pieces

Forgiving in pieces

I used to get very annoyed at all those memes about forgiveness and the idea they seemed to put forward that forgiveness is important in order to move on in your life, that if you continue to hold on to the hurt, you won't be able to move on, and I can see how this is true, yet, what really annoyed me was that I felt that there was a sort promise implied that everything would be ok once you forgave. It would be a happy ever after sort of life. 

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1 month left

Today is the 15 October and it is exactly a month to the date of my return to London. As I continue to experience the amazing transformation and healing that the island of Koh Phangan is still offering me, I look back and see more clearly the different experiences and stages of my stay here. It all makes sense, it all seems to lead to the present moment in full perfection. In the last month, things have started accelerating considerably and my transformation is coming faster and faster. It is an internal process of growth with insights and many many realisations of how I have been living my life, what has been limiting me and learning to free myself from these limitations. Setting myself free. I trust that this last month I will learn to integrate these changes in myself and more continue to happen with ease and comfort. 

I have a couple of art projects starting this week and I am super excited about painting more walls and allowing my creativity to express itself fully in these works. I am hoping to show you their progress in the coming weeks and tell you a bit more of the story behind these.

Last week I finally went to visit the east side of the island. I realise that I have not really been much of a tourist here and there is so much I have not done, but I trust, once more, that I will have the opportunity to come back and have the space to fully explore the natural beauty of this place. 

London has been present in me, as the place I normally call home. I have no clue if it will feel like home in the same way, but am open to exploring how it will feel to be back. Moving from one of the biggest cities on the planet to a small village on an island in South East Asia, has been quite an experience.

I will be in London for 1 month (15 November until 15 December) and look forward to having the opportunity to share my Art Expression Workshop with anyone who would like to. If you would like to host a group session at your place, let me know.
I will also be giving my Intuitive Healing sessions which are now inspired in lots of the experiences of healing I have had on the island. If this has made you curious, get in touch and let's book a session and explore how I can support you. 

Look forward to my return but I also want to still be very present with all that is still to happen for my last month here. 

 

My nevers.

I have plenty of time for reflection in my life here in Thailand, and the other day, what came to me, was how I was currently doing some of the things I had put in my mind I would never do. 
At some point in my life I thought I would not be travelling again for quite some time. My friends had partners and so our holidays together came to a stop. Anyway, even if I did want to travel on my own, who would be there to put sun screen on my back? And what about having meals on my own? Sounds terrible. Super awkward. I would not want to have to experience that. All these thoughts were excuses for not doing things. Truth was, that at some point, living on my own, I could not afford to travel much except to go back home a couple of times a year. But besides this, the idea of me going off on my own, sounded unappealing and kept me from doing other stuff, not only travelling. 

Some other things that seemed impossibilities for me, due mostly to some imaginary Pelágia rules, were never to show my upper arms except at the beach; not having my legs on show without tights; surely I can't ride a scooter, right?

I may be forgetting a few more. 

When I made my decision to move to Thailand for 8 months, would you believe me, if I said that none of these thoughts actually crossed my mind? And guess what, for the majority of my time here so far, I have not had anyone to put sun screen on my back. I'm still alive and have not burnt my back either! I have had many many dinners on my own, and once again, I have survived it all. It is so hot that there is no chance of wearing long sleeves, let alone tights! And sure enough, I can ride a scooter, slowly and sometimes nervouslessly, but I do it and even enjoy it. 

I guess, that once you make the right decision, just as I made the right decision for myself; all these thoughts or beliefs you used as excuses,to not do something, they just disappear. They're no longer important. In fact, I still don't have it all figured out for the rest of my stay. I still have nights when I wake up worrying about money. Yet, there is another part of me, which I have been listening more in the last few months, and this part tells me that things will work out and everything will be OK. 

As for the nevers, apparently, there isn't such a thing. I am reminded once again that the impossible is possible. 

Letting go

For the month of February in particular, the theme for me was 'letting go'. Back in the beginning of December 2016, I realised that I needed time for myself, to recover, heal and do lots of self-care. It would be too stressful for me to just jump from a full time job, and into a launching a business almost from scratch and living in London. The financial pressure would be too much. I handed in my notice for my flat at the end of December 2016 and during January and February 2017 I focused on letting go.

What did I let go of? A lifestyle; things, lots of things, I all of a sudden realised, I was quite attached to; my nest for the last three and a half years, the place that gave me quietness, solace and recovery time from living in a busy city; the same nest, which also allowed me to express myself creatively, both through my body with dance and the making of art. 
It was interesting to notice how attached I was to a bedside table, it was somehow hard to let it go. I observed my feelings about it, surprised as to how much an object as banal as that could mean to me. And still, I let it go. That, and much more.
During these two months I started selling first the smaller things and then the bigger things. I managed to keep the flat livable until the last week of February and then all of a sudden, the place started getting truly empty. By the end of the month, I no longer struggled with letting go as actively, although some things still brought a twitch to my heart when letting them go. 

Today, as I write this in my borrowed space for the next two weeks, I feel relief for having gotten rid of the flat and its contents. The flat because it was a financial burden, my things because they too had started feeling like a burden. My life contents resume themselves to a few suitcases and bags. It feels both liberating and gut wrenching letting go of control and allow more fluidity in how I live my life. The tickets to South East Asia have been bought an now a new adventure begins.