Back to work feeling

Back to work feeling

I still remember what it felt like to return to work after only finally getting used to being off during the Christmas and New Year break. I also remember how in 2015 in particular, returning to work felt worst than ever. In the previous months I had been meeting and socialising with quite a few people who worked for themselves and did not have a particular fixed daily schedule. I remember really wanting this for me too. To be my own boss and have the flexibility to choose what I did with each day.

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He - Masculine | She - Feminine

He - Masculine | She - Feminine

The first two chapters of this story were inspired by a dream a friend of mine shared with me. The dream had a specific meaning for her. When I heard it I heard something else and all of a sudden this story started to unfold in my head.

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Inspired by

Inspired by

In this short post, I share a series of podcasts that have been filling my cup recently. I wanted you to also have access to them in the hope they may come to you in the same way they came to me and bring you what they are bringing me.

Who is inspiring you at the moment?

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‘Inspired by the heart’ A poem by Emma Stott

‘Inspired by the heart’ A poem by Emma Stott

I received this poem from Emma after I shared one of mine: 'In Stillness'.

I met Emma Stott in Koh Phangan, Thailand in some of my Art Expression Workshops in 2017.

My heart expands in happiness when reading these words. My sharing and expression inspired and opened the possibility of others doing the same. Isn't this wonderful?

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On stage

On stage

Here I am with my fellow events organiser extraordinaire, @charlotteeagill, in front of 600 delegates from all over the world. I was to do the organisational announcements for the Congress and also to emphasise that an event of this complexity and size had many helpers and much work involved.

I remember feeling very calm even though I had never spoken in front of so many people and definitely not on the stage of such a world famous theatre company. This was only one of many transformational steps I took in 2016.

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My nevers.

I have plenty of time for reflection in my life here in Thailand, and the other day, what came to me, was how I was currently doing some of the things I had put in my mind I would never do. 
At some point in my life I thought I would not be travelling again for quite some time. My friends had partners and so our holidays together came to a stop. Anyway, even if I did want to travel on my own, who would be there to put sun screen on my back? And what about having meals on my own? Sounds terrible. Super awkward. I would not want to have to experience that. All these thoughts were excuses for not doing things. Truth was, that at some point, living on my own, I could not afford to travel much except to go back home a couple of times a year. But besides this, the idea of me going off on my own, sounded unappealing and kept me from doing other stuff, not only travelling. 

Some other things that seemed impossibilities for me, due mostly to some imaginary Pelágia rules, were never to show my upper arms except at the beach; not having my legs on show without tights; surely I can't ride a scooter, right?

I may be forgetting a few more. 

When I made my decision to move to Thailand for 8 months, would you believe me, if I said that none of these thoughts actually crossed my mind? And guess what, for the majority of my time here so far, I have not had anyone to put sun screen on my back. I'm still alive and have not burnt my back either! I have had many many dinners on my own, and once again, I have survived it all. It is so hot that there is no chance of wearing long sleeves, let alone tights! And sure enough, I can ride a scooter, slowly and sometimes nervouslessly, but I do it and even enjoy it. 

I guess, that once you make the right decision, just as I made the right decision for myself; all these thoughts or beliefs you used as excuses,to not do something, they just disappear. They're no longer important. In fact, I still don't have it all figured out for the rest of my stay. I still have nights when I wake up worrying about money. Yet, there is another part of me, which I have been listening more in the last few months, and this part tells me that things will work out and everything will be OK. 

As for the nevers, apparently, there isn't such a thing. I am reminded once again that the impossible is possible.